Remembrance By The Living

As a genealogist one of your most important and valuable areas of information may come from the grave sites and other monuments that have been erected in the memory of the deceased. Often the deceased will have left instructions on what the memorial should look like, but the most common situation is that relatives and friends take the decision and buy what they, rather than the deceased, think may be appropriate. It is a way of showing love and respect.

This brings us to the issue of needing some sort of memorial: the major reason why this is important is not for the deceased but for the friends and relatives left behind, as well as a constant reminder for future generations of your presence on this earth. Grieving is part of the conditioning process for remembrance by the living. Being part of designing a memorial or plaque of some kind - it doesn't have to be elaborate, helps in the natural process of mourning and grieving.

As a genealogist you will be looking for some lasting remembrance of the person you are studying. Many times I have been disappointed after traveling many km to find there is no gravestone or other piece of contact with the deceased. In many cases, in particular during the 1800's and early 1900's era, most of my family did not have the money to buy a headstone - the so called pauper's area of the cemetery is usually open space, or if you are lucky, a wooden cross that has long been worn by the rain so any chiseling or painting  on the cross has long been obliterated. Many times the cross lies abandoned on the grass.

So the importance of a memorial, no matter what type, needs to be long lasting and especially: a place where future generations can learn more about their relatives, and enjoy the quiet moments to reflect on the life of the deceased at the particular location.

Memorials in my family history can be very elaborate such as the grave of Valentine Fairall (D: 7th August 1932) and his wife Isabella Theresa Fairall (D: 29th May 1929) and buried at the Harden Murrumburrah Cemetery, NSW or more simple such as the plaque for my mother's cremation at Rookwood Cemetery, NSW.

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